2008 Woodie Awards
Thoughtless Banter
No Flowers for You
John Bellone
Issue date: 10/9/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
As a resident driving back from Kearny after a long eventful day of shopping, you can often see an individual selling items on the side of the road. We have all seen these peddlers attempting to resell merchandise to the unexpected drivers. Often the goods are rather meek: a newspaper, some candy, or during the summer months, soft drinks. A few weeks ago while traveling off campus to pick up some supplies to indulge my alcoholic appetite, I came up upon a man selling flowers.
Most of the times I pull up on these scenes, I have already prepared and rehearsed the curt nod that you perform when you don’t wish to buy their product. After several mindless attempts, the nod is often performed half-assed, causing the merchant to make a second last-ditch attempt to sell you some of his inventory. But there was something about a man selling flowers on the side of the road that caused me to flinch.
Those precious seconds were lost and the hunter took the opportunity to apply his sales pitch, as you would a precious, heated massage oil. The words had already rolled out of his mouth in my direction as I realized my mistake. Unfortunately, I often let my guard down in these situations, but I have prepared my arsenal of destruction to deter any future altercation with said individual.
I have found, the hard way, that simply closing your window tends to instill anger into the eyes of the beast. Most times, being the person that I am, this is usually my choice of action and I rarely falter. In Newark, though, tender love and care must be applied in these situations.
Instead of rolling up the window I decided to ask the gentle, bearded man why he would be selling red roses on the side of the road in the middle of September. The excuse, which I could barely interpret over the humming sound of the engine and radio, was that it was always a good time of year to give a rose to your “old lady.”
There are worse things that you could purchase from a street vendor that can often land you a few years in the slammer, or at the very least, a coke trip that would have given Rick James a run for his money. The red rose fiasco has been a topic that has been itching my side for a few weeks now. The few classes that I have taken in business have taught me to always consider the target audience when marketing a product. The man most likely has not taken a business class here at the college, but some of these things can be considered common sense.
If I were selling items on the side of the road I would cater to the need of my customers. Because it would be hard to offer carry permits on the spot, simple pocket knifes and pepper-spray might be a better start.
The red rose business model struck me initially as an interesting outlet, but quickly was deteriorating in front of my eyes. This time, without batting an eyelash, I gave the man his deserved nod and rolled the window up. Some things are better left unsaid.
Most of the times I pull up on these scenes, I have already prepared and rehearsed the curt nod that you perform when you don’t wish to buy their product. After several mindless attempts, the nod is often performed half-assed, causing the merchant to make a second last-ditch attempt to sell you some of his inventory. But there was something about a man selling flowers on the side of the road that caused me to flinch.
Those precious seconds were lost and the hunter took the opportunity to apply his sales pitch, as you would a precious, heated massage oil. The words had already rolled out of his mouth in my direction as I realized my mistake. Unfortunately, I often let my guard down in these situations, but I have prepared my arsenal of destruction to deter any future altercation with said individual.
I have found, the hard way, that simply closing your window tends to instill anger into the eyes of the beast. Most times, being the person that I am, this is usually my choice of action and I rarely falter. In Newark, though, tender love and care must be applied in these situations.
Instead of rolling up the window I decided to ask the gentle, bearded man why he would be selling red roses on the side of the road in the middle of September. The excuse, which I could barely interpret over the humming sound of the engine and radio, was that it was always a good time of year to give a rose to your “old lady.”
There are worse things that you could purchase from a street vendor that can often land you a few years in the slammer, or at the very least, a coke trip that would have given Rick James a run for his money. The red rose fiasco has been a topic that has been itching my side for a few weeks now. The few classes that I have taken in business have taught me to always consider the target audience when marketing a product. The man most likely has not taken a business class here at the college, but some of these things can be considered common sense.
If I were selling items on the side of the road I would cater to the need of my customers. Because it would be hard to offer carry permits on the spot, simple pocket knifes and pepper-spray might be a better start.
The red rose business model struck me initially as an interesting outlet, but quickly was deteriorating in front of my eyes. This time, without batting an eyelash, I gave the man his deserved nod and rolled the window up. Some things are better left unsaid.
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